79 is the perfect number .

Too bad i'm stuck at 92 ...

I

REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY
REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY
REALLY REALLY REALLY
REALLY REALLY
REALLY

WANT FRIENDS.




in a little while from now,
if i'm not feeling any less sour
i promise myself to treat myself
and visit a nearby tower.
and climbing to the top,
with throw myself off.

alone again, naturally...

"you could be the model type skinny with no appetite....body outta sight body body outta sight..."

all i wanted to do
was sleep
in your arms.

Im diseased. Im hungry...so i eat.
i'm disgusting. I promised myself that summer would be It. I would starve all day and get thin...
really im getting nowhere.

I want skinny arms. Thats my main focus right now. But how to get them?

i don't care.

I don't care about anything anyone says. I don't want to listen. I'm tired of listening to everyone. Talk talk talk talk talk talk talk. It's so pathetic. Can't you do anything else? Can't anyone do anything but talk? Complain. Bitch. Complain. Bitch. Insult. Brag. Complain.

I wish I could just force myself to not talk. Like, never need to talk. To anyone. But there are people i want to talk to and if you can't block everyone out you can't block anyone out.
And I just don't care. I don't.

I wonder where I'm going in life. If I really am swimming in a pool of knives.Who I'm going to. Who I'm going with.

Will you PLEASE get the fuck out of my room?

Give me a reason to tell you. Give me a reason for everything. Give me a reason to not jump off the roof. Give me a reason not to starve. Give me a reason not to fly.
Take me away, take me away, take me away.

I don't want anyone i don't want anyone i don't want anyone.

not happy not happy not happy.



I'm happy you all moved out. Really. Stay the hell away for all i care.

And if you survive till two thousand and five
I hope you're exceedingly thin
For if you are stout you will have to breathe out
While the people around you breathe in

Its literally thirty seconds after my post and i can tell there is no way i can fast...
my dad is making pancakes and hashbrowns.
gotta hit the gym later.

sell out

my sister can not beat me
again.

i had a dream last night that she was losing more weight
she's already skinny
but she lost the fat on her mid section
the mid section is the only part of my body that beats hers...

she looked so good
and i looked so fat.

it will not happen
it can not happen.

maybe i'll fast today...

Yeah this anorexia thing..? I'm not so great at it.

FINALLY IT'S SUMMER

noschoolnoschoolnoschoolnoschool

i don't want to eat, but i still get hungry. Probably doesn't help that this house is full of fucking food. like the pizza we ordered last night... its calling to me.
anyway, my ultimate goal for this summer is to reach 80 pounds. at least. hell, if i lose more im not going to complain...

these are my thighs as of now...
i weigh 94 lbs, which i don't even KNOW how i managed that because i seriously eat normally. Must be the nicotine...