i know its wrong

still i persue
why?
for the hell of it.

why not? honestly, this isn't going anywhere far.
it isn't really fun for me
its just something i need to do
for myself
for the hell of it.

meaningless .

you don't like me
i know you don't
i'm so stupid.
i know what you said to her about my having a boyfriend,
and i left him
for many reasons,
and for a chance with you.

and we were supposed to hang out tomorrow,
but now we can't
and i'm pretty crushed
because i'm sure that you
aren't going to ask me again.

i could use some
attention
some
affection
but i am alone.

i ruin everything.

i can't keep a boyfriend.
i can't do anything right anymore !
we said forever, but god, i'm only 16 i can't deal with forever.
i'm too young for stability.
but i can't just let you go.

i'm not here, this isnt happening. . .

fall back.

seeing the progress others are making while i fall backwards eats me up inside.

bomb.